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"I'm not as good as my sister who was capable of managing an impressive project, receiving merit, and making the Wei family be favored by nobles. I'm really useless......" Wei Qingwan bit her lip, her eyes flooded with tears.
Wei Yichen frowned, "Wanwan, how can you think like that?”
“I…… I just feel like If I'm not as good as my sister in every way, then I won't be liked by everyone anymore.”
After Wei Qingwan finished speaking, she thought Wei Yichen would comfort her. But unexpectedly, Wei Yichen stopped and frowned, looking at her with a serious expression.
"Eldest brother?" Wei Qingwan looked at Wei Yichen in confusion.
"Wanwan, we should be happy for Ruo'er excellency, and we should not think that someone else’s brilliance will cause us to lose favor or shunned. Whether you are performing good or poorly, we are still a family; as a family, how can we compete with each other?" Wei Yichen said in a grave tone.
Wei Qingwan was stunned for a moment, then realized that she had just made a mistake.
“Eldest brother, I didn't mean that. I am naturally happy for my sister's excellence. I just realized that I need to work harder. Otherwise, I would be left behind because my brothers and sisters are very outstanding. I also want to contribute to the family." Wei Qingwan explained.
“You are free to do so, If that's what you think." Wei Yichen's expression softened, and then he added, “Just don't put too much pressure on yourself, or think that Ruo’er's excellence would affect you. We just need to be happy for her achievements, and there's no need for any other thoughts.”
"Yes, I understand." Wei Qingwan responded softly.
Seeing this, Wei Yichen didn't say anything more, thinking that Wanwan just made a slip of the tongue. She had always been very kind and gentle, and she would not have any problem with Ruo’er.
After chatting for a few moments, the two parted ways.
As soon as she returned to the Wangmei Garden, Wei Qingwan threw herself onto the bed and cried so hard that Cuihe tried to comfort her to no avail.
"When I went to Xie's house to study, it was my sister who won Mr Wang's favor. It was also my sister who was able to improve the wasteland and grow seedlings; compared to my sister, I'm not as good as her. Sooner or later, I'm going to be abandoned by my parents!"
"Miss, you mustn't think like this. If you cry and get sick, then won’t the one who will be pleased and happy is the eldest young lady? You must not give up on yourself!" Cuihe was worried.
She was afraid that Wei Qingwan would fall into despair. Once Wei Qingwan fell out of favor, her life would become difficult as Wei Qingwan's personal maid.
"What can I do? I can't blame anyone else. I'm not my father and mother's real daughter, I don't have a blood relationship with them. It's only a matter of time before I'm discarded......"
The more Wei Qingwan thought about it, the more she felt sad and hopeless about her future.
"Miss……" Cuihe didn't know how to comfort Wei Qingwan for a moment, and muttered: "It would be great if my mother was here. She might be able to give you some advice, Miss."
“But Mo mo can't return home for now." Wei Qingwan murmured softly.
If Mo mo were here, she would definitely help her.
Unfortunately, due to the last incident, Mo mo was sent to Zhuangzi as a punishment.
“Miss, why don't you find an opportunity to ask Madam for a favor? If you speak up, she will listen." Cuihe said again.
"I...... Will try it next time." Wei Qingwan answered in a whisper.
###
County Head Magistrate Qian was very efficient. After returning, he posted a public notice and sent his subordinates to publicize it everywhere.
Anyone who didn't have land, whether they were farmers or fishermen, could go to the government office to register. Then the government would distribute the wasteland in the south of the city in order, and taught them how to improve and cultivate the wasteland.
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Oh, but it was fine when they compared RuoRuo's countryside upbringing to you, who is more like a cuckoo then a phoenix.
C
Chronos58845/28/2025
Ughhh, I actually know that mindset, when you become insecure, negative, paranoid and competitive trying to fight for familial affection and trying to meet your perceived familial expectations and only seeing your flaws and feeling unable to match up no matter how good you are in other fields. Wanting to be the good person you can't be because you're just an insecure, selfish human, covering your insecurity with toxic and maladaptive behaviors, plus puberty. Urgh...
I don't like her or approve of her behaviors, but she is 13 and recently found out the only parents she's ever known aren't hers, and her real parents would have abandoned her to be a farm girl. Her mother is wishy washy and biased and can't put her money where her mouth is. Some of her relatives now don't like her, though some do still love her more, but its a shock. So I understand why she's freaking out and struggles with coping with her entire life up to this point being a lie.
She's slipping down a slippery slope and if she let's herself slide, it will only get harder.
I guess this also shows the importance of "outlook" and "seeing the bright side"
The girl she's becoming is not going to be a happy one, always struggling, always stressed, always anxious and depressed, never thinking she's good enough, and taking everything personally. It's s**t and s****y to be around.
I don't like her, but I do sort of understand her and feel pity for how she's likely to develop. She's likely not going to like who she's going to become and I won't either. When you become a person even you don't like, it's a rough time.